"I have to move on, why is this so hard? I just have to let her go." I sighed as I let my head fall into the palms of my hands.
"I know Jake, I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. But there's many fish in the sea." "Dad, please don't say that, it sounds so stupid and right now I'd rather just not think about finding anyone. Nothing matters anymore, not without Bella." I really wanted to cry, but my eyes felt completely dried out, like there was nothing left in there to cry. My heart felt shattered, broken into millions of tiny pieces maybe never to be whole again. "I'm just gonna get out of here. I.. I can't stay here right now." I said finally as I looked up at my father. "Are you leaving La Push? When will you be back?" My father knew all too well that I didn't know the answer to that question. "Dad, when time feels right again, I'll be back. Ok?" I tried to smile but my face wouldn't let me. "Jacob, you be safe." He also knew that he didn't have to worry about that, but he still said the words anyway. He knew who I was, what I was. My body started to shake at the thought of Bella again, knowing she was somewhere with the leech. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, to try and focus on where I would go to get away from all of this. Maybe where I could just focus on being Jacob again, if I could just forget her face. "Just go Jake, get your head on straight and come home to me. I'll be here waiting for you." He smiled at me and ruffled my hair. "I know you will dad, I love you." I whispered as I stood up and turned toward the door. "I love you too Jake." I heard it as I walked out of the door and out into the pouring rain. I didn't bother to take my clothes off before I shifted into my wolf form. I wouldn't need those clothes again for a long time. I wouldn't need anything at all but to be alone, away from her.. away from all the pain and loneliness I was feeling right now. Again I could feel the tears threatening to spill over, the ache in my chest started to throb at the thought of her name, her voice calling my name. The thought of her beautiful brown eyes, her silky brown hair.. I stopped in my tracks and looked up at the black sky, I let it come... I howled loudly into the darkness, feeling the pain ripping through me. I closed my eyes then, letting the rain fall on my fur and let it wash over me as I stood there quietly. She was the cause of all this pain, and yet I couldn't stop loving her. "You need to forget, just let her go." I thought to myself. "You really should just forget her, she's no good anyway. She likes to be around the other kind, not our kind. She wouldn't fit in with us anyway." "Leah, why don't you just get out of my head for once. Let me mope without interjecting your unwelcome remarks, ok." I growled. I could hear her 'HMPH' and then silence. I started running full tilt, faster and faster. I could feel the hard ground under my paws, the wet branches and bushes flew by me at a rapid pace. The adrenaline was pumping through my veins now, my muscles doing their job and there was no sign of slowing now. I just ran and ran for what seemed like forever. I didn't recognize anything around me anymore, and the farther away I got, the more I missed her. I couldn't let her take over me like this, I had to leave her behind and start new. Maybe start a new life, I didn't know what that would mean. After all, how could I forget her? Chapter 2 Home
